I’m not one to spell it out. Perhaps, that isn’t even true. Is there such thing as a blunt cryptic? A straight-forward gypsy of personalities that continues to master new ways of being disguised in some form – but tight within their characters – it goes unnoticed. I sit tired and worn out and unsure… Read More Courageous Insignificance
Sometimes things happen that we don’t ever fully understand. Horrendous. Tragic. Heinous. Obscene. Brutal things. Sad. Gut-Wrenching moments. Thrown into a Saturday afternoon or a Tuesday morning, just on your way in to work. In the middle of the night, maybe, after a nice dinner and movie. Something terrible, awful, no-good, and sometimes life-altering will… Read More Face of Danger
I want to improve my diet. What a phrase to use on a blog like this. A word, in fact, that sometimes causes those that fear for the disordered to lose their minds. And in these present times, the choices of the “right diet” are a million and one, making it impossible to trust very… Read More Tell me more about the candida in my stomach…..
We succumb to whatever we desire most. It would seem obvious, but to many it isn’t. At a glance, I would think that if that were the case… I would be a successful novelist, married, a perfect mother, immaculate house, and all the freedom in the world to cultivate an enriching love for life. I… Read More Desire = Manifestation
After 3 years, I am turning back to you. Because reading your words, and your thoughts, and your process of struggle has helped me to realize that I need to hear what you have to say more than ever. —————————– I worry often that I’m losing it. I have built myself up and pushed my… Read More Resurrection
I apologize for the lack of hope that I have portrayed in this blog. I’m not really sure if I’m apologizing as much to you as to myself. I had intended this to be a documented recording of the ways in which I have successfully recovered on my own accord. And I suppose, in a… Read More Shape Shift
I received an email from a beloved fan of this blog asking if I was alright. Why I stopped writing. If I was alive. Only true anorexics understand what a huge possibility it is when that disordered girls blog we follow suddenly becomes a desolate un-updated waste of space in the netherworld of the net.… Read More Sad Reality
I have lived without thinking of my eating disorder for a while. I have pushed it to the very depths of my mind, and I’m not quite sure why I have decided to pull it forth tonight. I have held it before me and stared into it’s crystal-y gaze and admire it’s endless depth. Because… Read More Question For The World
Sometimes it feels as if my ribs are creaking as I breath. Or my heart flutters as if I was dropping downward on a roller coaster. I am still. I have not moved. Not in a while. I feel my skin tightening around my face, a millimeter below my temples and all the way down… Read More I’ll trade Anorexia for this fucked up starve/binge cycle I got going on here. Sounds perfect.
My whole being wants to live outside of myself. But I am trapped within myself. Unable to crawl outside of this tight space inside of my spirit that, I, myself, have created to be a dampening place. I imagined that, by now, I would have purified my soul enough to feel comfortable enough to quit… Read More Turtle Shell Showdown