It’s so obvious when the struggle sets in. To everyone of course. After almost 20 years of struggling with the seemingly foreign concept of self nourishment. Sustainment. I have moments and I don’t make things worse. I don’t force myself to do things my body won’t allow. I just slip by, unnoticed, except that’s not… Read More Not in Numbers
Let it be known to the world what you think when you think it and with a reasonable explanation of why you think it . Some believe that no explanations are needed, but I believe that to be wrong. Distorted thinking captures the most perfect idea and embeds it into the brain over factual evidence. … Read More You think too much.
When the thunder rolls, it’s depth is unpredictable and cascading – echoing on into directions that are both far too wide or deep for me to comprehend. I wonder, in those moments, what keeps me stuck in this roll. For how deep or cascading, in which direction, cheering on the strikes of light, flickering through… Read More Hear the Thunder Roll
We succumb to whatever we desire most. It would seem obvious, but to many it isn’t. At a glance, I would think that if that were the case… I would be a successful novelist, married, a perfect mother, immaculate house, and all the freedom in the world to cultivate an enriching love for life. I… Read More Desire = Manifestation
After 3 years, I am turning back to you. Because reading your words, and your thoughts, and your process of struggle has helped me to realize that I need to hear what you have to say more than ever. —————————– I worry often that I’m losing it. I have built myself up and pushed my… Read More Resurrection
I apologize for the lack of hope that I have portrayed in this blog. I’m not really sure if I’m apologizing as much to you as to myself. I had intended this to be a documented recording of the ways in which I have successfully recovered on my own accord. And I suppose, in a… Read More Shape Shift
I have lived without thinking of my eating disorder for a while. I have pushed it to the very depths of my mind, and I’m not quite sure why I have decided to pull it forth tonight. I have held it before me and stared into it’s crystal-y gaze and admire it’s endless depth. Because… Read More Question For The World
Sometimes it feels as if my ribs are creaking as I breath. Or my heart flutters as if I was dropping downward on a roller coaster. I am still. I have not moved. Not in a while. I feel my skin tightening around my face, a millimeter below my temples and all the way down… Read More I’ll trade Anorexia for this fucked up starve/binge cycle I got going on here. Sounds perfect.
My whole being wants to live outside of myself. But I am trapped within myself. Unable to crawl outside of this tight space inside of my spirit that, I, myself, have created to be a dampening place. I imagined that, by now, I would have purified my soul enough to feel comfortable enough to quit… Read More Turtle Shell Showdown
It’s not necessarily that I want to “die”…or want to be dead. It’s just thtat I don’t understand why it is that I am here. It may, and will forever, be baby girl that has attached me to this world. I would have lifted off without her. I am able to recognize that I am… Read More What’s Your Point?