I was 11 years old when I first heard about an Eating Disorder.
I made a promise to myself, at 11 years old, that I would learn everything about the disorder. I read anything I could find about Eating Disorders. In every book in every library, every safe search website I could pull up at school, wrote millions of journal entries chiming to the tune of calories and fat and weight and thighs and food, reflecting a perfect collage of the obsession the disordered become.
Almost 20 years later, and I have kept that promise to myself.
I have been a die-hard investigator of the subject by succumbing to the entire thought process and lifestyle of the disordered.
Whether my disorder developed through nature or nurture matters little. It is the finding of the truth about this disorder that has made my suffering worth it. I feel like I have learned different methods and approaches to dealing with this disorder than any treatment center or Eating Disorder Director could ever provide me with.
I left my last treatment weighing 82 pounds, and having no good reason to recover. Seriously. You can check out my blog that dates back to that moment.
But I have stabilized myself at a healthy BMI.
I made a resolve within myself to quit looking to the world for help.
And to start looking at what I could give myself.
My blog will contain my personal struggles, successes, and thoughts on the disorder.
My gallery does contain triggering images in “My Own Struggle” gallery, but I have left them up as a type of resume. Only the disordered may understand that.
Hoping for all those that suffer from this disorder, that they may find peace and hope in any way that they can.